Over the years, I’ve realized how easy it is to lose touch with what we truly like or prefer. We live in a constant stream of media — videos, articles, podcasts, social posts — and all of it is quietly telling us what we should want, how we should think, and what “good taste” is supposed to look like.
Even as someone who has always considered myself strong-minded, I’ve had to decondition certain ideas. Some were easy to shed; others are still tangled in my thinking. Every now and then, I catch myself judging instead of thinking — not because I truly believe the judgment, but because I’m mentally exhausted. Judgment is quick. Thinking requires effort.
The Problem – Lazy Thinking and Media Conditioning
That habit — replacing thought with judgment — is human, but it’s also being fed by the way media works now. We consume so much “pre-packaged” opinion that we stop asking ourselves what we actually believe. We let algorithms feed us the same perspectives, the same sound bites, the same preferences. Over time, we start to repeat them as if they were our own.
Example – The Dating Podcast Echo Chamber
One place I see this is in dating podcasts. The hosts ask, “What are you looking for in a partner?” and the answers all sound the same.
For men, the current “acceptable” answer is: “I want a submissive woman.”
You almost never hear: “I like a strong-minded woman who challenges me. I like the charge when she disagrees with me — it lets me know she has her own mind.”
It’s not that no man feels that way — many do. But saying it out loud doesn’t fit the current script, so they stick to the safe answer. That safe answer isn’t always what they actually want, and in some cases, it backfires. The man who says he wants submissive might get exactly that, then find himself bored — and seeking excitement with the kind of woman he publicly dismissed.
The Bigger Picture – Algorithmic Tribe Mind
Social media has narrowed the range of what people feel safe to say. Preferences get shaped to match the algorithm’s reward system rather than the individual’s truth. Over time, this creates a “tribe mind” effect: we think we’re expressing ourselves, but we’re really just echoing the group.
That might be fine when we’re talking about broad cultural issues, but when it bleeds into our personal preferences, we risk living lives that don’t fit us — relationships, careers, lifestyles — all chosen to please the invisible audience rather than ourselves.
The Call Back to Self
The hardest part of breaking free from this is asking yourself: What do I actually like? What truly works for me? And then letting the answer stand, even if it’s unpopular or unexpected.
Because when we lose touch with our real preferences, we don’t just lose individuality — we lose the chance to live a life that actually satisfies us.
No comments:
Post a Comment