Back again.

It’s been a challenging year. Last May, I was admitted to the hospital after losing the use of my legs. For about a month before that, I had been severely ill with vertigo and nonstop vomiting. Despite my efforts to stay hydrated with Gatorade and Ensure, the vertigo worsened. In the days leading up to my hospitalization, I struggled to get to the bathroom or the refrigerator without falling. I could barely sleep because lying down made everything spin. Finally, I fell and couldn't get back up. Exhausted and dehydrated, I felt like giving up. My core strength was gone, and it was impossible to lift myself using my walker. I managed to pull myself to the end table, grabbed a pillow, and covered myself with a blanket before finally falling asleep.

I don't know how long I was out, but when I woke up, I was still on the floor. I called maintenance, and they contacted 911. When the ambulance arrived, I was embarrassed. I had vomited everything I had tried to drink and had soiled myself. Management helped me pack a small hospital bag and waited with me until the ambulance came. Despite my embarrassment, I had no choice but to let them put me on the stretcher. During the elevator ride, I heard a loud popping sound, and everything seemed muted. I couldn't understand what people were saying or hear myself clearly. I wasn't completely deaf, but I couldn't make out any sounds.

In the emergency room, I underwent numerous tests: MRIs, CAT scans, ultrasounds, bloodwork, and urinalysis. Despite all this, they couldn't find anything except severe dehydration and my inability to move my legs. I was eventually moved to a room, and with IV fluids and anti-nausea medication, I gratefully fell asleep. That was May 18th, 2023. The next time I was fully conscious was at the end of July 2023. Between May and July, I had been in a delirium and lost the use of my hands and arms up to my elbows. My hearing deteriorated further, and I couldn't do anything for myself.

Despite my severe neurological issues, I wasn't able to see a neurologist until July 2024. I've spent time in three different hospitals and have been in a long-term care facility at the VA for a year. Throughout this time, I received no diagnosis. No one could explain why I lost the use of my hands and feet, why my hearing was impaired, or why I had gone into delirium. Despite seeing various doctors, it was unclear that I was dealing with a neurological issue.

At the VA Medical Center, I started physical therapy. Having served in the United States Army, I've done extensive physical training, but learning to walk and use my hands again has been the most challenging experience of my life. I am in constant pain, and the neuropathy is strange, leaving me with little to no sensation in my hands and feet. Physical therapy has helped me learn to sit up, stand using a walker, and transition to my wheelchair. I work on standing longer and walking further. For my hands, I do grip exercises, use resistance bands, and practice handwriting. It's been a long road, and I still have a long way to go.

Last month, I finally saw a neurologist who diagnosed me with sensory motor neuropathy and scheduled a muscle response test. Although I'm not looking forward to the painful test, I am eager to see the results. When I asked my physical therapist about my recovery timeline, he said it's hard to predict—I could make a full recovery, or this might be the best it gets. However, the neurologist's preliminary exam gave me hope that I could make a full recovery, even if I still have some limitations.

So here I am, back at the blog after another hospitalization. I'm not sure how much I'll post, as life had become routine after my last hospitalization. But now, with a recovery process that isn't linear, I have more milestones to document. Writing in this blog helps me recover cognitive abilities and track my progress, setbacks, and plateaus. I'm still awaiting a definitive diagnosis, but the neurologist suspects a demyelinating disease like Guillain-Barré syndrome. After the EMG, we should have a clearer understanding. Until then, I'll keep pushing forward.