King Baby - A Tale Of Narcissism (An AI collaborative fairytale)

 

Once upon a time, in a kingdom that had once been beautiful and thriving, there ruled a man known as King Baby. Though he was a grown man, the nickname suited him perfectly, for he ruled with the petulance and selfishness of a spoiled child. Ever since King Baby ascended to the throne, the kingdom had suffered under his tyranny.

The lands, once green and bountiful, were now withered and barren. Trees that used to bear fruit had begun to die. Flowers no longer bloomed, and the ground, which had once yielded rich harvests, barely provided enough to feed the people. The rivers ran shallow, and even the animals seemed to vanish. Worst of all, the joy and laughter of the people had disappeared, replaced by a heavy gloom that hung over the kingdom like a dark cloud.

But King Baby didn’t care. He sat upon his golden throne, growing fatter and more indulgent by the day, feasting on the best foods while his people starved. He ordered his servants to gather all the finest fruits, the choicest meats, and the freshest vegetables for his own table, leaving the rest of the kingdom with scraps. He hoarded the kingdom’s resources, draining it dry without a second thought.

The people, once vibrant and full of life, grew sad and weary. They no longer smiled at one another as they passed in the streets. Their eyes were dull, their backs bent from the weight of their burdens. Yet King Baby noticed none of this. All he saw was his overflowing plate and his expanding wealth.

For ten long years, King Baby’s greed and bloated ego drained the kingdom of life. And then, one day, a new threat emerged. A neighboring king, one who was known for his strength and wisdom, set his eyes on King Baby’s weakened kingdom. This new king had a mighty army, well-trained soldiers, and strong horses. His lands were fertile, and his people loyal. He knew it would take little effort to claim King Baby’s crumbling kingdom for himself.

When word of the threat reached King Baby’s ears, he flew into a panic. For the first time in years, he realized that his throne was in danger. He issued frantic edicts, demanding that every able-bodied man in the kingdom take up arms and defend the land. He held town hall meetings, ordered his soldiers to put up flyers, and spread the word that every man must join the fight to save the kingdom.

But the people were unmoved. After years of being neglected, robbed, and left to suffer, they no longer cared what happened to the kingdom—or to their king. When King Baby gathered the men of the kingdom at the palace to give them their marching orders, the men did something shocking.

They sat down.

King Baby, red-faced and sputtering, demanded to know why they weren’t preparing for battle. The men looked at one another and shrugged. They had no desire to fight for a king who had never fought for them. They had no reason to defend a kingdom that had brought them only misery.

King Baby threw the tantrum of all tantrums. He stomped his feet, punched the air, and screamed that they were ungrateful traitors. He threatened to throw them in the dungeon, to take away what little they had left. But no matter how much he raged, the men stayed seated, their arms crossed and their faces grim.

When the new king’s army finally arrived at the kingdom’s gates, the townspeople didn’t resist. In fact, they welcomed the invading forces. They parted ways, opening a clear path to the palace, allowing the new king to march straight to King Baby’s throne without a single drop of blood being shed.

King Baby, seeing that his own people had abandoned him, was furious. He called them all sorts of names—traitors, cowards, treacherous—but the people remained silent, indifferent to his rage.

In a last, desperate act of cowardice, King Baby fled the kingdom. He gathered what little he could carry, saddled a horse, and rode away into the night, leaving behind the ruins of a once-great land.

The new king, upon taking the throne, immediately set about restoring the kingdom. He planted new trees, tended to the crops, and gave the people hope once more. Slowly but surely, life returned to the land. Flowers bloomed, the rivers flowed strong, and the people began to smile again. They greeted each other in the streets, and the dark cloud that had hung over the kingdom for so long began to lift.

As for King Baby? He wandered the lands, aimless and alone, a shadow of his former self. He never found another throne, and no kingdom would ever let him rule again.

And so, the lesson of King Baby was learned: a ruler who cares only for himself will always lose the love of his people. But a king who rules with wisdom, fairness, and kindness will always be remembered, long after his reign is over.

And the kingdom lived happily ever after.

The end 🕊️

The Sympathy Olympics

 

Recently, I was in my room, getting ready to eat dinner, when someone came in and closed the door behind them. They said they wanted to talk, and then started telling me about how people have problems—problems you may not see because they come to work with a smile on their face and don’t share everything they’re going through. She told me that I might think people wouldn’t understand what I’m going through, but that they do, because they’re dealing with things too. I was really confused. I had no idea what she was talking about. She continued talking about other people’s problems, including her own, saying she has issues but still comes to work, smiles, and does her job.

After five or six minutes of this, I stopped her and said that I understood people have problems. I’m in the hospital, surrounded by people on two floors who are all dealing with problems—people with varying levels of abilities. Some are paralyzed, some are amputees, some have organ issues, or different mental disabilities—you name it. And I’ve been here since 2023, working on my own issues and challenges. So I told her I didn’t understand why she felt the need to tell me that I needed to be mindful of other people’s problems. Then I asked her directly, “Why are you telling me this? What did I do or say that made you think I wasn’t sensitive or empathetic to other people’s problems?”

She didn’t have an answer. She wouldn’t explain why she felt the need to have this conversation with me. Then she switched it up, saying that she was telling me all of that because she knew I would understand—because of what I’m going through—and that she felt comfortable talking to me.

That was a couple of days ago, and it still sits with me strangely. It takes me back to all the times when I’ve been dealing with my own issues, and for some reason, someone takes issue with me taking care of myself. Subtly, I’m told I’m being selfish for looking after my own health and well-being, that I need to be more considerate and remember that other people have problems too. It’s such an awful conversation to have with someone who’s literally an inpatient at a hospital with major limitations.

It’s crazy how some people will find anything to compete with others about. I’ve heard this called the “Sympathy Olympics.” It’s when you’re going through a hard time or dealing with an illness, and instead of offering help or a listening ear, the person tries to “one-up” you with details of their own problems. If you stub your toe, they broke theirs. If you lost a dollar, they lost ten. It turns into this sick game where they feel the need to outdo your struggles, as if being sicker or more injured makes them somehow “better.”

Don’t get me wrong—this happens in all areas of life. These envious, competitive people will have secret competitions with you in their minds. You may not even know what’s going on, but for them, they’re watching you and feel competitive for some reason. What surprised me most was that this happened based on my injuries and disabilities. Who wants to win the “I’ve got it worse than you” competition?

Personally, I think it’s bizarre. There’s never a time or place where I’d want to compete on such a dysfunctional level. What’s even worse is the underlying message when people do this—they’re telling you that you’re not important, that what you’re going through isn’t important. They minimize your experience and place their problems on top of yours, just to keep you humble and remind you that everything isn’t always about you. They might think they’re knocking you down a peg, without realizing you weren’t even thinking that way to begin with.

This brings me back to one of the most important quotes I’ve heard in the past five years. I don’t know who said it, but I saw it on Instagram a while ago: “The first thing you need to know about me is that I am not you. A lot more will make sense after that.” When she told me I needed to be more mindful of other people’s problems, I immediately thought, “This has nothing to do with me.” And because that was my first thought, I quickly became irritated.

It’s really hurtful when people make up their own narrative about you, choose to believe it, and then spread it to others. That kind of mind-reading and storytelling causes so much misunderstanding and unnecessary drama. Unfortunately, I will always be on alert when dealing with this person now. I’ll always question what they’re really saying. It’s disappointing, especially when you kind of like the person.

But I’ve learned my lesson. There comes a time when you have to start paying attention to what people are doing the first time around. Their behavior will always tell you more than their words ever could. It’s true for me, and I believe it’s true for many people: we don’t want to think the worst of others. We want to believe they didn’t mean it, or maybe they were just having a bad day. And all of that can be true. But there are certain things people do that you don’t need to see a second time—abusive actions, manipulative behaviors, people who minimize your experiences, or those who use what they know about you to hurt you. These people don’t deserve second chances. You should care about yourself too much to allow those types of people near your heart. 

The Ultimate Betrayal - Flying Monkeys In the Family

 

The most heartbreaking instance of a narcissist using flying monkeys occurs within a family dynamic. The narcissist often employs triangulation and comparison between family members, typically targeting at least one individual as the scapegoat. I’ve seen situations where one child is scapegoated while the rest of the family acts as flying monkeys for the narcissist. I’ve also witnessed cases where the narcissist convinces the children to become flying monkeys against the other spouse, turning the other parent into the scapegoat. It’s a tragic situation.

Narcissists’ relationships are always transactional. They extract something from every relationship, and if they don’t get anything, they typically won’t continue the connection. Family members become convenient flying monkeys when the target is another family member. It’s a delight for the narcissist to watch everything unfold while monitoring the situation. The narcissist uses the rest of the family as proxies to continually harass, abuse, and violate the target or scapegoated family member. When this abuse is covert, it can appear as regular teasing, with comments like, “Oh, we’re just joking,” or “You’re too sensitive.” But for the target, the abuse feels very intense and heavy. They wonder, “Why am I the only one you do this to?” If the target complains or expresses discomfort, the narcissist has already trained the other family members to dismiss it, reinforcing the idea that the target is overly sensitive and that it’s all just in fun. The target may become emotionally upset or reactive, which is ideal for the narcissist, as it confirms their strong influence over the target. Sometimes, the narcissist will involve other family members in the harassment, encouraging them to laugh, dismiss, or even accuse the target of faking illness or being dramatic. The narcissist’s teachings ensure that even in their absence, the target remains under their control, albeit by proxy.

It’s a heartbreaking situation, indeed. If the narcissist is successful in keeping family matters within the home, it may take years for the family to recognize the dysfunctional dynamic. Often, the scapegoated family member is the one who seeks help, therapy, or information. With subversive and covert abuse, it can take years for someone to even recognize it as abuse. For most of their lives, they might believe, “This is just how my family operates.” The negative messages delivered by the narcissist and reinforced by the flying monkeys are often internalized by the target as truth.

But there is a light that shines in the target, which is precisely why the narcissist is drawn to them. The narcissist can’t stand this light, as their personality type thrives in shadows, observing and learning how to manipulate and gaslight their target. The light in the target is threatening because the narcissist envies it—because they lack it. Narcissists are generally uninteresting people, lacking a spectrum of emotions and the lively, joyful energy that others naturally possess. They often mimic these emotional states to appear normal, learning to laugh, gesture, or move their hands by mirroring others because they need a model to navigate life. Without a real self, the narcissist seeks someone to mimic. The target’s light represents strength, energy, and vitality—qualities the narcissist envies and despises. Targets of narcissistic abuse are often incredibly empathetic, compassionate, loving, nurturing, and supportive. They are the type of people who become the glue holding families, communities, and, ultimately, the world together.

Whenever I write about narcissists, I emphasize that this personality type stitches itself together from qualities it sees in others because it lacks the ability to form genuine emotional bonds. This is why all their relationships are transactional. No matter how adept they are at manipulating situations, they don’t truly feel it. They lack the internal connections that allow us to bond with people, animals, nature, and so forth. This is why they discard people so easily and struggle to understand why others find it difficult to walk away from unfulfilling relationships.

The narcissist shares whatever information is necessary to provoke the flying monkeys into continuing the abuse they observe. The narcissist will lie, exaggerate, and fabricate stories to maintain control over the situation. This creates a powder keg. The light the narcissist envies also has the power of exposure. If the target ever escapes and begins to heal, they can shine a light on the narcissist and the games being played, revealing who the ringleader is. The heartbreaking aspect of this is the other family members involved. There are several roles in this dysfunctional dynamic: some family members comply with the narcissist’s games to avoid becoming targets themselves, even if they don’t agree with the actions. Others may enjoy the abuse and become more menacing than the narcissist, often possessing high levels of narcissistic traits themselves, having been trained by the narcissist.

For the target, it’s impossible to have straightforward feelings about anyone involved. In many of these families, the message is, “Yes, we love you,” while all they do is abuse, gaslight, and lie. There’s no real support or emotional bonding—just manipulation and gaslighting. Yet, the empathetic target can often see the entire situation and may even feel sympathy for the family members who abuse them under the narcissist’s influence. The target may think, “They have no choice; they don’t want to be targeted like I am.” Over time, the target might accept their fate as the family’s sacrificial lamb, believing they deserve this treatment from those who are supposed to love them.

In a family dynamic, the relationship with flying monkeys is incredibly complicated and hurtful. The target may have mixed emotions about their family and seek friendships and relationships outside the family dynamic to create their own chosen family—one made up of friends and possibly extended relatives who aren’t involved with the narcissist or who see the narcissist for who they are. When the target is able to free themselves from that toxic family dynamic, they can look back and grieve, sometimes years later, at how little has changed. Even if the narcissist is long dead, the family may continue falling into those roles until the dynamic is interrupted, disrupted, and dismantled.

Here’s where the target becomes another target: the family only knows how to operate within the established pattern. When the target decides to change the pattern and say, “I’m not playing that role anymore,” the rest of the family doesn’t know what to do. If the narcissist is long gone, they no longer have a captain to give them orders, so they begin to see the target as the problem, once again scapegoating them. This dynamic can be a never-ending merry-go-round unless the target gets clear enough to set boundaries, create safe spaces, and stand up for themselves. Otherwise, they will continually be dragged back into the family dynamic, even unconsciously recreating it with others in an attempt to heal. The target must break the pattern, often requiring no contact or limited contact, whether temporarily or permanently. But the toxic cycle will continue until the target endeavors to stop it. It’s a lot of work.

Breaking free from the toxic cycle of narcissistic abuse is an act of self-preservation and empowerment. It takes courage to set boundaries, seek healing, and reclaim your narrative from the distortions imposed by the narcissist and their flying monkeys. Though the journey may be long, remember that you are defined not by the abuse, but by your resilience and your capacity to love. By healing, you not only liberate yourself but also become a beacon of hope for others. The light the narcissist tried to extinguish is the very light that will guide you—and others—toward a future free from their control.

The Spotlight on Narcissists

 

I’m loathe to talk about narcissists at any length. It’s probably my least favorite subject simply because they get enough attention as it is—or at least, they try. However, the spotlight is on them at this time, so much so that they themselves have begun to make their own YouTube channels, Instagram accounts, and websites, telling you how to spot them! They’re taking advantage of the situation, capitalizing on how interested we are in learning about them. Honestly, I don’t knock the hustle—it seems like everybody is out here trying to find their place in the sun.

I grew up with a parent and a stepparent who were very high in narcissistic traits. Everything fell into place after I started reading about narcissism and those diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). It started with a young woman on YouTube, who is no longer posting videos, but she was one of the rare ones willing to do the work—to look at her behavior and reflect. She mentioned her mother and how she felt that’s where she learned these narcissistic behaviors. It almost seemed to me that she was questioning whether she actually had the disorder or if she was just repeating what she had experienced through a parent. Both things could be true.

She was almost disturbingly honest about how she felt about other people, the things she would do when she felt jealous or irritated. I appreciated her honesty and her willingness to dig deep into her behavior. She wasn’t like some of these newer folks; she would take her daily walk and do a video journal. Now, this was years ago, so all of this creating thumbnails and hashtags wasn’t part of her deal. She would pull out her cell phone camera and just start recording as she processed what she was learning in therapy and reflected on her interactions with people. She freely admitted that she was jealous of most people and would often seek to undermine their efforts or spoil their good news. When the subject did not revolve around her, she felt left out and unseen, and would make every effort to turn everyone’s attention back to her. She admitted that it was ugly behavior.

This type of narcissistic behavior made sense to me. Growing up with authority figures who behaved in these exact ways helped me to look more deeply into what narcissism was. There are a lot of ideas about what narcissists do, how they do it, why they do it, and their motivations. Growing up so close to an abusive narcissist, and later, a narcissistic stepparent, gave me insight into a mindset that is quite mind-boggling. Because I didn’t understand what was happening, I ended up marrying an abusive covert narcissist.

I also turned to the DSM and started looking at official diagnostic criteria. I found some validation there as well. Most information about narcissism deals with the overt, grandiose narcissist. And although many of us have been exposed to them, I find the covert narcissist to be much more dangerous, simply because most people just looking in from the outside don’t see it. They don’t see the distress that you’re suffering under; as a matter of fact, they may join in the chorus of gaslighting, which makes the covert narcissist very happy and helps them feel validated. Few things turn a narcissist on more than seeing you in distress because of their behavior and convincing everyone that you’re the crazy one. It allows them to continue their abuse unobstructed, to the detriment of your mental and physical health.

Many of these narcissist channels and websites are set up by narcissists pretending to be empaths. If there’s one thing you need to know about a narcissist, it’s that they will do whatever it takes to get the spotlight on them. It’s built into their personality. Some of them are very good at making it seem like they’re the empath, that they are the victim. And if you look at how a narcissist operates, it makes perfect sense that they would accuse others of doing to them what they are doing to others. Projection is a hallmark of the narcissistic personality.

Many books, websites, and YouTube personalities tend to highlight the idea that narcissists are charming, always get their way, and feel superior to other people. This is probably the case for some narcissists. My experience has been varied. I have encountered those grandiose, charming types, but in my experience, narcissists tend to be very uninteresting people. They’re boring, and they’re quickly bored, which is why they like to stir up so much drama. They don’t like themselves; coupled with the fact that they don’t understand people on an emotional or empathetic level and have to mimic behavior in order to be considered “normal,” it’s easy to understand why they don’t particularly like people. They detest how much attention they have to pay to regular people, which is why they devote so much time to getting attention. The makeup of their personality dictates that they be centered in any and every situation; if they’re not, they become bored, agitated, frustrated, and often angry.

Narcissists are miserable people. Despite any peacocking and other grandiose behavior, at their core, they never feel like they fit in. This personality type, instead of working on themselves, will employ manipulation tactics in order to work on others. Their entire existence depends on other people. They don’t know how to act, they don’t know what to do—they have no sense of self. They rely so heavily on people that they end up resenting them. They hate the fact that they need people, yet they crave an audience with the very people they dislike.

Anyone who has been in a relationship with a narcissist will understand that there is no good news, no happy ending; just confusion, gaslighting, and manipulation. The best we can do is arm ourselves with information about those who display high levels of narcissism. We need to understand how they operate so that we can steer clear of further involvement with them. There also needs to be an understanding that narcissists are only interested in people who can do something for them. They don’t pay much attention to basic, regular people. Narcissists want to be special, so they mimic those whom they see getting attention from others—people with natural charisma. Despite what information may be out there, they don’t stalk, harass, or hoover every person they’re involved with. The ones they do hoover, however, are the ones who feed them the best feelings. They tend to gravitate toward emotionally sensitive people because they can get a lot of reaction, a lot of emotional content from highly sensitive people. When a highly sensitive person finally recognizes that they’ve lost themselves in a relationship with a narcissist and tries to leave, it causes emotional damage to the narcissist. This period of their lives, when the significant other wants to break the relationship, is one of the most dangerous times for both people in the relationship.

The more you know, the better prepared you are. If you can recognize the red flags early in a relationship with a narcissist, you can avoid much of the drama that comes from being involved with them, though it’s no guarantee. There are narcissists who border on delusional and will see a connection with you that does not exist or never has existed. Take your time getting to know people, especially those who come on very strong, who want to be friends or in a relationship right away. True enough, there are times when we feel an immediate attraction to people, that they are part of our tribe. Abusive and narcissistic people will always give themselves away. And it doesn’t take long if you’re paying attention.

Pay attention 🚩🚩🚩

The Narcissist’s Flying Monkeys: Tools of Manipulation and Control

 

When a narcissist feels they aren’t able to get the reaction they want directly from you, they often employ proxies—commonly known as “flying monkeys”—to provoke and manipulate you. While the narcissist would prefer to upset you themselves, for various reasons, they may not be able to engage with you directly at that time. Although the supply they receive from your response to the flying monkeys is good, it’s not their ideal scenario.

Flying monkeys are useful idiots to the narcissist, willing to do the narcissist’s bidding for their own reasons. These proxies may be drawn to the narcissist due to their perceived power, influence, or social standing—whether the narcissist is a celebrity or simply a popular figure within their social circle. The narcissist often convinces these individuals that they possess some sort of power or influence, which may or may not be true. To the flying monkeys, being close to the narcissist provides a sense of prestige and importance.

Even though the narcissist views these flying monkeys merely as tools to achieve their goals—stalking, harassing, intimidating, and provoking their target—they are crucial to the narcissist’s schemes. Flying monkeys are also used to gather information about the target, which they relay back to the narcissist. They serve many purposes, especially as potential fall guys for the narcissist’s actions. This allows the narcissist to keep their hands clean and avoid direct involvement, while they pull the strings from a distance.

It’s important to note that despite the flying monkeys’ involvement in these schemes, the narcissist doesn’t truly care about them. They are merely pawns, sacrificial lambs sent out so the narcissist can remain uninvolved. However, flying monkeys often feel special because of the narcissist’s attention, willing to risk their reputations, jobs, or relationships to please this seemingly larger-than-life figure. But make no mistake: the narcissist is only interested in what the flying monkeys can do for them. Once a flying monkey is no longer useful, they are often discarded, a harsh reality for those who believed they had a special connection with the narcissist.

Narcissists are masters at studying people to learn how to behave and interact with the world. There’s a disconnect between individuals with high levels of narcissism and the rest of us, so they spend a lot of time observing and mimicking human behavior. They learn which types of people can provide them with what they need and how to manipulate those individuals to meet their own ends. Even those who aren’t particularly intelligent possess a kind of street smarts and intuition about people, having spent so much time studying human nature. Narcissists only value flying monkeys for their utility. No matter how entrenched the relationship becomes, it is always about how the relationship benefits the narcissist.

For example, if the narcissist’s target has ended a relationship with them, the narcissist may quickly get involved with someone else to provoke jealousy or anger in the ex-partner. Narcissists are always intentional and calculating in their actions, knowing exactly what they want and how to get it. While this ruthless drive is something most people would not admire, it is one trait that others could learn from: the importance of knowing what you want, planning, strategizing, and pursuing your goals relentlessly.

After being discarded, flying monkeys often feel empty and lost. Their time with the narcissist was filled with drama, excitement, and a sense of purpose—however twisted that purpose may have been. Now, it’s all gone, possibly along with their jobs, families, or relationships. Anyone who has been in a relationship with a narcissist for any significant amount of time loses something. Narcissists are thieves on all levels—they may steal your possessions, your significant other, or your job—but what they truly desire is to steal your soul, the essence of who you are. Lacking their own genuine personality, narcissists craft their identities by observing and mimicking others. They craft personas based on what they believe others want, and their entire existence revolves around manipulating people. This makes them some of the most desperate, lonely, and uncreative people on earth, which is why they’re so dangerous—they have nothing of their own and, therefore, nothing to lose.

If you’ve realized that you’ve been a flying monkey to one of these narcissists, consider yourself lucky to have escaped any kind of relationship with them. Unlike the target, there’s little chance of the narcissist trying to reconcile with you. You won’t have to deal with the ongoing drama that the narcissist’s main target experiences. Unless there were significant repercussions from dealing with the narcissist, such as criminal charges, you have the opportunity to move forward and rebuild your life. However, it’s more likely that you’ll find it difficult to let go of the narcissist. You may have become addicted to the lies, drama, and validation from this seemingly important person. If that’s the case, moving on might be more challenging than you think. God help you.